She did what she could.

Several months ago my dear sister in Christ, Autumn, led our Wednesday evening group in a study called, ‘She Did What She Could’.  It was based on a passage from Mark 14.

This phrase has stuck with me.  It comes to me in moments where, like most of us, I realize I can’t do it all, even though I want to.  Constraints of time, energy, ability, season of life…these and other realities limit us.  We cannot expect to be all things, to every area of life, all the time. 

As I often do in the early mornings, I took a little walk.  Today's August morning had a slight breeze and a perfect coolness.  I went to check my chickens, gathered a couple eggs.  Then I walked down to my peach tree, it is loaded with fruit this year, the first that has ever happened. I walked back toward the house and noticed the lavender was blooming and picked a little, I’ve grown to love this calming scent so much.  And finally, I walked up to the back of the yard to my grapevine.  It’s a good year for them, and probably next week I will harvest the grapes and make some jelly and juice.

I am so grateful.  For all of it.

As I gather the fruits and eggs and herbs, I reflect on the seasons of my life and know that without even realizing it, I did what I could.  Was it all at the same time.  No.

I have always had chickens, but about 2 years ago, they were attacked and I never replaced them.  There was a span of about a year and a half that I just didn’t have any.  I didn’t have the energy or the desire really.  Several months ago, I decided I was missing them and ready to have them again, and literally the next day my neighbor texted and asked if I wanted his.  Perfect timing.  I’ve since added several more and am loving the contentedness I get from caring for them. 

About 4 years ago, I planted some fruit trees.  3 apple and 2 peach.  Unfortunately, through deer, sheep, and my own neglect, my sole survivor is 1 peach tree.  I really haven’t done a thing to help it or support it, but this year she is so fruitful and beautiful and I am loving the gorgeous hue of the peaches it is providing.

We put out mineral tubs for the cattle and after they are empty, I gathered a few this spring and used them for potted gardening.  I’ve tried to garden, and it’s not that I don’t like it, but frankly, no one helps me with it, and we have so many local friends that grow and sell produce, and I love supporting them.  So, I didn’t plant a garden this year.  Instead, I thought about what I really wanted to have handy and would use and enjoy that didn’t require hours upon hours.  So I grew mint and lavender.  I have a few other containers that I grow rhubarb in and mint that I had already planted a couple seasons ago. 

I planted a grapevine a few years ago.  Last year, it didn’t have many grapes at all.  I think because I had a new trellis built and the vines were disrupted at the wrong time and it affected the growth of fruit.  But this year it is bountiful!

Are you seeing where I’m going with this?

Do what you can, when you can.  For me, and for all of us, there are seasons of quiet, seasons of renewal and rest, seasons of growth, seasons of plenty and fruitfulness, and also seasons of loss and grief and darkness.

Let go of any guilt or shame or regret you may be carrying because you felt like you didn’t do enough.  Do what you can right now, in the season you are in.  That may be a lot, it may a little…but God sees you sister.  He knows.  He sees.  He understands. He will use it.

Know that what you have done years ago will be used for purposes you may not have even imagined.  What you thought was a dark, fruitless time could be the exact thing God will use for future good. 

Also, know that it is perfectly okay to embrace the limits you have so you may lean on others’ strengths.  I love that I have a neighbor up the road that I get potatoes from.  It’s a blessing to me to stop by and support them and chat awhile.  If I planted them myself, I wouldn’t get that opportunity. 

“She did what she could.”  At the end of that study, Autumn asked each of us to write that on a notecard.  I keep it tucked in my bible and see it every time I open it. 

Do what YOU can.  God will take care of the rest.

Amen.

Dawn